Stay Home, Stay Sane

“If you want to make God laugh, tell her your plans.”
—Annie Lamott

I was supposed go on a week-long meditation retreat in Saskatchewan last week. It’s an annual event I’ve participated in for a couple of decades. And at the end of every retreat, when the thirty or forty of us who participate are happily sitting in our ceremonial sharing circle, I wonder, “Will this be the last time?”

You see, these retreats organized by the Regina Insight Meditation Community have in recent years been held in fragile circumstances. The affordable rented space at a former boarding school on the edge of a valley in Moose Jaw had fallen further and further into decline. On our last retreat there, some people had to leave because the level of dust, allergens, mould, and unpleasant odours (from the territory-marking cats brought in to control the mice).

I had resigned myself to believing these events would no longer happen, since good retreat sites are hard to come by. But much to my delight, the organizers found a new location at a beautiful church camp north of Saskatoon. The 2019 retreat was held there and it was perfect, although more expensive to rent and at a much farther driving distance. The retreat organizers confidently booked it again for this year. And senior Insight teachers Sharda Rogell and Howie Cohn committed themselves to once again travelling from California to lead it. All of us were happily looking forward to our annual getaway.

Then Covid-19 happened. So much for our plans…

Meditation retreats are a privilege. They are a means of placing our dharma practice inside a secure and sacred container — an uninterrupted stretch of time to practise, to listen to dharma teachings, to engage in wise contemplation, to connect with the natural world, and to deepen our friendships with ourselves and each other.

But even sacred containers for dharma practice are subject to the law of impermanence. They are vulnerable to changing conditions and that makes them very precious.

Recently, Sharda addressed those of us who have been going to her Saskatchewan retreats and said now is the time for us to make our homes into retreat centres. Whether we live alone or with others, we can make our homes, at least parts of them, into sacred containers. 

Some of us have altars with objects that are personally meaningful to us — mine has pictures, pretty rocks, feathers, mala beads, offering bowls, Buddhas, and candles. In addition, certain beautiful things scattered throughout our home and yard do a lot to lift my spirits.

Being surrounded by objects that remind of us dharma can support us in moving through lives with clarity and kindness. We can wake up in the morning and resolve to carry on with our day as if we were on an unstructured retreat. Exercising the dog can be a nature appreciation walk. Breakfast can be a contemplation on gratitude. Cooking for others can be an act of generosity; cooking for the self an act of joy. Communication can be carried out with the intention to engage in skillful speech and deep listening. Work can be engaged in with mindfulness of ethical action and livelihood. Children can be attended to with patience and wisdom. Chores and errands can be done with compassionate attention to the presence of dukkha in ourselves and in others. And maybe we can find time to “sit and stay,” read about dharma, or listen to a recorded talk. Before going to sleep, we can reflect on the preciousness of life.

As Burmese teacher Sayadaw U Tejaniya says, “dhamma is everywhere.” Sayadaw did most of his early dharma practice as a busy family man who ran a textile business. He also suffered from serious bouts of clinical depression, which sharpened his resolve to investigate his mind with wisdom and acceptance. He is now a monk who leads unstructured, non-silent retreats in Myanmar that are intended to help laypeople bring compassionate awareness into everyday activity.

Fortunately, we don’t have to go to Myanmar to do that (not that we could go there right now anyway). We can practise the dharma at home — or wherever we happen to be.

As Sayadaw has said: “Meditation is not a part-time occupation. It's not a pastime. It's something we need to integrate into our lives so that it is always there.”

—Nelle Oosterom